Loyal followers, there will come a time in your life when, perhaps while enjoying a fine beer in the company of friends, you encounter sustenance in the form of pretzel sticks. These snacks are a godsend, and the simplest and most traditional way to honour them is to, of course, wear them as a decorative accessory.
No, DO NOT put them in your nose. Bad minion. No.
Instead, the right place from them is protruding from under your bottom lip, appearing as delicious tusks. The reasoning for this location is simple: the Beer Gods, who granted man pretzels some four thousand years ago, often hungered for meat of the physical world. The humans, seeing this, felt obliged to repay the gods for the glorious gifts they had been given; as such, they ventured off in search of wild boar. Lacking technology or basic tactical knowledge, they went into battle equipped similarly to the boar itself: with naught but sturdy tusks.
The battle with the boar was long and full of squealing; the great human warriors had suffered many wounds. Then, as though the pretzels had heard their cry for help, they descended their valuable salt upon the wounds. Behold, these injuries were now clean of boar venom! The humans could continue to outlast the wretched creature, and in a sudden motion, the beast received the gift of two pretzel sticks through the throat.
The humans offered this to the inebriated deities, who were pleased. As celebration of this display of love between man and god, we observe the Most Holy Festival of Oktoberfest every year.
And now, minions, you know.
